hey jude

JENNA.

Thinking back to the night before I had my second baby, Jude, where was I? Uncomfortable, wanting, wishing, waiting. Not knowing what would happen the very next day at 4:06 pm.

The hour we became a family of four and my entire life changed. It’s funny how that works, how what you’ve known forever just shifts in this short but monumental moment. A moment that when remembered, lifts me up in to a euphoric happiness even on the saddest of days. [KEEP READING FOR THE ENTIRE ESSAY.]

I delivered my second baby without an epidural. On purpose. I’m not amazing – every mother delivers a miracle no matter what route they take, I’m just a crazy person who did it unmedicated. Regardless of opinion on the matter, I loved my experience & I’ll tell you why.

Choosing an unmedicated birth and the rewards there after have truly changed the course of my life. While i know it’s not for everyone, it gave me the confidence in my life to try new things, and to conquer my days and not just surrender to them. To make choices based on my desires, and not by what’s popular. I learned that I’m capable of really hard things, that I’m the master of my fate, and that when I really believe I can do something, I can.

 

I reflect on this past year, and it’s full of things I never thought in my wildest dreams I would accomplish and achieve. I look at little Jude and I see in him all the things he has given me the strength to do. I want him to know forever that a life time of serving and loving him will never amount to what his precious soul has given me.

It’s a grand misconception that a baby, because of the nature of his demands and needs, takes away from a mother, but I’ve felt quite the opposite. While some days can be difficult, my boys have given me such profound blessings: love and purpose. In their eyes I see eternity. I see what’s most important. I see my priorities. I see my family. 

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This post is in partnership with Bugaboo’s Cameleon 3. We each have had the pleasure testing out the Cameleon 3, it is an all terrain stroller system that truly goes wherever we go. We are proud to be the Utahan correspondents for this project and will be sharing our pivotal moments in motherhood alongside our Camelon 3 escapades over the next few days with accompanying photos by Cee Bee Photography

Comments

  1. on December 17, 2012 at 10:03 am said:

    chills and teared up reading this…

    Such a beautiful post Jenna! I’m still very emotional since the shooting… and pregnant. ;)

    Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your heart.

  2. Libby Kleyn:
    on December 17, 2012 at 11:11 am said:

    This is beautiful. You are beautiful. These photos are priceless. So sweet and precious.

    • Small Fry:
      on December 18, 2012 at 9:13 am said:

      thank you for your kind words-they mean the world to me! thanks for reading. xoxo.

  3. Sara:
    on December 17, 2012 at 2:15 pm said:

    Jenna. Thank you so much for sharing these sentiments. As a midwife’s apprentice and practicing doula, I have such a deep respect for women who have an empowering experience such as yours… and then are in a position to share that empowerment with others. I’d love to hear your birth story at some point. Thank you again!

    • Small Fry:
      on December 18, 2012 at 9:11 am said:

      thank you sara! such an incredible job you have–i admire you so much! i’d love to share with you my birth story. i’ll email it some time. thanks for reading! xoxo.

  4. Anne:
    on December 17, 2012 at 2:33 pm said:

    These photos are gorgeous and your thoughts on an unmedicated birth are my exact thoughts as I am making my birth plan. Thanks for sharing!

  5. on December 17, 2012 at 4:35 pm said:

    I had an unmedicated birth for my first child, and had planned to do the same with my second. However, after a three day labour which resulted in an emergency C-section, I ended up having a very medicated birth. My son is constantly teaching me that even if the world does not go to plan, it is still an amazing experience. I think Jarvis is here to teach me to relax and just enjoy life.

    http://iliska-dreams.blogspot.com.au/

    • Small Fry:
      on December 18, 2012 at 9:09 am said:

      I LOVE THAT. that’s such an amazing thought & i love it. how awesome are you that you can see such goodness in what wasn’t your original plan. you’re incredible! xoxo.

  6. on December 17, 2012 at 8:40 pm said:

    Thanks for sharing, I really appreciate hearing about others natural birth experiences/ stories… It feels like an indirect form of support in a culture that isn’t always supportive of such a thing, or at least that has been my experience… Love your perception on motherhood as well, I couldn’t agree more! Such a joyful gift :)

    • Small Fry:
      on December 18, 2012 at 9:08 am said:

      thank you janeen! it’s been interesting to find that the pro-epidural folks seem to be even more determined in their opinion than the unmedicated ones! at least in my experience :) thanks for your support and for reading! xoxo.

  7. on December 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm said:

    I feel the same way! I had three unmedicated deliveries and two unmedicated labours. The second one especially was very empowering! This from a body that is not healthy. I have lupus and fibromyalgia and to feel my body actually work the way it’s supposed to was supremely amazing!

  8. on December 19, 2012 at 12:51 pm said:

    I love this so much. I had unmediated births with my second and third babies, and they have been the most amazing experiences of my life. It’s what made me start photographing births- it’s such an amazing process and after witnessing and photographing almost 20 births (, I can honestly say that each one is truly miraculous. Its so great to connect with other natural birth mamas!

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