fryday: jenna

Jude. I can hardly say his name without feeling my heart want to burst. His bright white hair, dark skin, beautiful blue eyes and infectious smile…he really is my little dream boat.

This dream of a boy however is my more high maintenance child. He cries, a lot. For what I never really know. It’s mostly that once he hasn’t gotten what he wants, he’s off a cliff he can’t seem to come back from. The tantrum lasts an hour, crying about anything and everything. Hand him the moon, a cookie, a trip to disneyland, etc….boyfriend doesn’t care. Jude’s main objective at that point is to prove to you how perfectly mad he is and he does a real good job at it.

I spent a good portion of this week frustrated, angry & impatient with him but mostly myself. Why can’t I get this kid in check? Is it normal, is it just being almost two or is it me? It has to be me right?!

fry day with jenna

I sat down to write this to say how exhausting this little boy is then I looked through my phone to collect the pictures from my week and I see all of this. The moment I sang to him ‘Hey Jude’ and he sang ‘na na na na’ with me then fell asleep. The afternoon we rode our bikes to the grocery store and he was pointing at the world around he yelled ‘birdie! trees! go mom!’ The other night when we went to the carnival and his face lit up at all the people, sights and rides. And finally ice cream on the porch with his brother where he leaned his head on Quinn’s shoulder and said ‘more please!’ There isn’t one image of a tantrum, although there were plenty trust me.

And this is why I take pictures of the happy, the lovely, the wonderful. It doesn’t mean that my life isn’t full of disappointments, trial and sadness. It just means I don’t want those memories ingrained in my mind forever. I’m choosing to capture, celebrate and share the happy moments because it makes the sad and difficult moments fade and I’m left counting my blessings instead of longing for something I don’t have.

Do you ever feel in social media that you are portraying a false sense of joy? Or that you aren’t being “real”? Do you feel like you owe anyone anything more then what you CHOOSE to put on the internet?

Jenna

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Comments

  1. on June 21, 2013 at 5:13 am said:

    I think we’re just celebrating the good, we all know that being mothers is difficult work, but those smiles are worth every second of the hard times too. Seeing those smiles just reminds me that even when it’s hard, I still love every single second of being a mother.

    xoxo PARIS BEE kids blog

  2. Jessica:
    on June 21, 2013 at 9:11 am said:

    I do share hard moments, but I definitely feel like most moms don’t. I don’t want to portray myself as perfect online. I’m not, my life isn’t, that’s not helpful to anyone. Just the other day I snapped a picture of my baby mid-scream and posted it with a sarcastic remark like “teething is great!”. I like to be honest and share a few of those moments because 1: I think they can be humorous, especially in retrospect and 2: I appreciate the floodgate of support that will inevitably open the moment you’re willing to admit you’re having a hard time. People get it! They’ve been there! Friends will leave fantastic tips and kind words and make you feel like you’re doing a wonderful job.

    One of my closest friends went through a terrible period of PPD after her baby was born and she didn’t reach out to anyone, in part, because we all seemed to be so damn happy and good at what we were doing. It breaks my heart to think of it now. I share the hard moments with sweet friends like her in mind.

    • Small Fry:
      on June 21, 2013 at 9:20 am said:

      I totally agree! I like to put in a not so fantastic photo every once and a while with a funny caption or a cry for help. It’s true that motherhood is such a helpful & supportive community!

  3. Jessica:
    on June 21, 2013 at 9:32 am said:

    After writing that I can’t help but think how great it would be if you guys did a series on PPD. It doesn’t fit into the “shiny, happy, hip” persona a lot of blogs focus on these days, but think of how many moms you could help!!!

    • Small Fry:
      on June 23, 2013 at 9:29 pm said:

      i LOVE that idea. thank you!!

  4. on June 21, 2013 at 9:38 am said:

    I want to hug you! I know exactly how you are feeling. My two year old has perfected the tantrum and whining. There have been many nights where I have ended my day crying into husbands chest or pillow. But when I look back at my day I remember all the incredible things he did like sing “I am a child of God” to his baby brother when he was crying, or when he tells me he loves me out of the blue, or when he finds something really funny that makes him laugh so hard that he gives himself the hiccups. I tend to share those moments more because that is what brings me the absolute best joy.

    • Small Fry:
      on June 23, 2013 at 9:30 pm said:

      let’s hug soon. i’m glad to not feel alone!

  5. on June 21, 2013 at 9:48 am said:

    My almost two year old is a whiner. Sometimes I look at her and think, “Dang girl. What could you be whining about now??” Other times, I don’t seem to notice since I’m so used to it. And it’s hard! The best advice I’ve gotten is that when you’re having a rough moment like that, just hold your babe close and hug them tight. And a Coke helps.

    ps: I agree about trying to focus on the positive. With a whiner, that’s just what you HAVE to do. But, honesty is good, too, in a public forum like this. Why? Because I read your post, sighed a good sigh, and thought, “Phew, I’m not the only one. Enjoy the good.”

    • Small Fry:
      on June 23, 2013 at 9:31 pm said:

      your comment meant so much to me! that’s what these frydays are for. i was feeling alone when i wrote it, and now after all these comments i realize i’m in pretty good company. now let’s go grab a coke :)

  6. on June 21, 2013 at 11:35 am said:

    The very day my daughter turned two she began struggling with tantrums and obedience. It’s so refreshing to hear the good, the bad and the ugly stories of motherhood. We can all connect on some level to all of them, and there is so much strength to be found in that moment.

  7. Brittny:
    on June 21, 2013 at 10:28 pm said:

    Sounds like how my Jude is going to be! He’s already at the crying for no reason and trying to prove that he’s mad. No complete tantrums but huge fits… He’s still young so I’m sure all the tantrums are coming! If you have any tips pass them along. these cute Jude’s are nothing but trouble!!:) you are doing great mama! Hang in there!

  8. Amber:
    on June 22, 2013 at 11:39 pm said:

    Thanks for sharing. I find it completely refreshing to know that other moms have bad days and feel and think like I do…Jude sounds like my Xavier. I highly rec this book: Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic. These kids are so magical….but hard to raise without totally collapsing at the end of each and everyday. :-)

    • Small Fry:
      on June 23, 2013 at 9:32 pm said:

      oooh yes that sounds AWESOME! ordering now!!! thank you!

  9. on June 23, 2013 at 6:26 pm said:

    I have 3 boys – one older enough to know better from wrong and who I can negotiate with…and twin boys who will be 3 in a few months who don’t care for negotiation. But one particular who sounds just like your gorgeous little Jude.
    He is my whiner, my crankiest, my most determined not to do the things that are asked of him – all with tears of madness. But it’s the photos you look back on and the moments he makes you laugh that helps you forget the last time he was testing you. At the sight of backyard playtime, making fortes and playing tag leaves you feeling nothing but warm and fuzzy inside with so much love.
    We are so tough on ourselves as mums – and the truth is it’s really hard work. But we can only do our best and if we get the tightest hugs and sloppiest kiss at the end of a tough day then the rest can be thrown out with the trash…(until the next day!!) We just have to remember to breath…xx

    • Small Fry:
      on June 23, 2013 at 9:32 pm said:

      sounds like we have the SAME child!! thank you for the suggestion! sometimes during a tantrum i realize i haven’t breathed for a loooong time. a deep breath goes a long way! xo

  10. on June 24, 2013 at 10:11 pm said:

    Oh man! I’m a first time reader! And this post was spot on! I have a 6 yr old girl and 2 yr old boy. A boy that is as sweet as can be but so much more whiney, sensitive and not as daring as my girl! But at the end of the day when I look deep into those big eyes of his, my heart melts and all is okay! I too look back at my pics and love seeing his happiness, I don’t think it’s because we portray an “I’m perfect ” type of world, but why focus on the negative. Don’t get me wrong I have pics of him face down on the floor throwing a tantrum or with a big pouty lip but I love those as much also because it shows how much of a stubborn little boy he can be and I’m hoping that will translate into standing up for what he believes in as an adult :)

    Thank so much!

    New reader,

    Erika

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