FRYday : Emily

Oh, November. Due to the nature of Small Fry and another business I run, and just plain being the crazy Holidays, it is the busiest month of my whole year. It packs a real punch of emotions, awesome highs, and despairing lows. A lot of interested parties ask Jenna, Nicole and me: “How do you do it?” and I think a lot of times that question comes with a motive of trying to undermine and poke holes in the “how” of it all. So, I thought for those interested, I’d share! I wouldn’t dream of speaking for my other Fries, but here’s my “how”.

fryday : emily

I (after thoughtful discussion with my husband) choose to work in, and on occasion outside, the home. Russ owns his own business too, so at times it is out of necessity for our finances, at times it is just a personal desire to contribute, and also at times just to use my talents and feed my interests. Luckily these things are almost always with my children in tow. If I can’t bring them along, I schedule everything during their life-saving shared naptime (naptime don’t ever leave us!), and if it’s a bigger time commitment, which is rare, I call on Russ or our parents (parents, don’t ever move!)

I used to think I could do it all. But, I’ve quickly learned that I have to protect myself and my family from that trap. I had to learn to say no. And re-learn it, and learn it one more time. It’s not easy, I hate missing out, I have a little bit of F.O.M.O. no matter where I am. I miss my kids and my husband when I have to be away, and I feel the momentary longing to be at the party, or styling the photoshoot, or the girl’s night. Maybe from an outside perspective it looks differently, but I say no to a lot, and choose to be home. I wish I knew the exact quote, but something a long the lines of “Don’t trade what you want most for what you want at the moment” rings in my head often. I have such a clear vision for the type of marriage, family, and life I want, and that makes it easy to see when the choices I make are building or hurting that vision. At this moment in my life, I can gratefully say that my kids are getting the best of me.

With that being said, my house is always a mess. My dinners are simple, and a lot of times take-out. My husband is patient with me when he has no clean shirts to wear because they’re all in the wash. If I get a meaningful text out to a friend I feel like I’ve conquered the world. Sometimes I’m face down in a pillow crying over how I wish I could do one thing well versus ten “just enoughs”, but then I remind myself that this life is a choice. Even the smallest of choices are building me up to the woman I hope to be one day. I think when that day comes, I’ll look back at this frazzled and worn person and be grateful, because I fought for her. Everyday. I hope you all have a happy weekend!

xo,

Emily

•••

We had two awesome print articles published for us this month! One via the Nov/Dec 2013 Texarkana that you can view online here.

And an essay and spread for Somerset Life. You can buy this Autumn 2013 issue in most craft and book stores, but here’s a little peek!

SL 1

Keep reading to see the essay!

SL 2

SL 1

Comments

  1. Danielle:
    on November 15, 2013 at 9:51 am said:

    Emily thanks for sharing this:). I finally starting have my husband’s shirts sent out to be washed and pressed at the dry cleaners. The cost is worth the stress it saves me and how happy he is to always have them perfectly hanging in his closet! And they deliver.

    • Small Fry:
      on November 17, 2013 at 11:08 pm said:

      Genius idea! I have to remind myself that my time is worth more than some things, that is definitely one. xo

  2. on November 15, 2013 at 3:03 pm said:

    Thank you Emily! Funny, a friend and I just had a conversation about the whole “doing a bunch of things decently” as opposed to doing anything “well.” It’s a constant juggle–but looks and sounds like you are doing awesome.
    Blessings to you!

    • Small Fry:
      on November 17, 2013 at 11:09 pm said:

      Glad to hear I’m not alone in that! xo

  3. on November 15, 2013 at 7:08 pm said:

    Oh, I can so relate! There is never any give in one area without taking in another and that can be so hard. I struggle with trying to balance it all (I don’t believe you can ever really find it) and feel motherly guilt often. But we all need a mix of being a mom and being ourselves.

    Have a great weekend!

    • Small Fry:
      on November 17, 2013 at 11:09 pm said:

      I so agree! Thank you! xo Emily

  4. on November 15, 2013 at 10:51 pm said:

    Oh, how well you said this all. I long for better than “just barely done” so many times a day. It was a welcome realization when an elder mentioned in passing that this season is not a productive one . At least not in the way I was used to defining productivity. Now productive is keeping the littles alive and happy. Enough.

    • Small Fry:
      on November 17, 2013 at 11:10 pm said:

      Haha so true! xo Emily

  5. on November 15, 2013 at 11:24 pm said:

    You are just the best. I am thinking maybe I was bordering on the verge of being one of those asking to undermine or “poke holes” in the how of it all. And if I was (even if it was all in my head because I never really said it), I am sorry. I guess there is a part of me that just stands in awe of you all, a part of me that’s wildly jealous, and a part of me going, “WHAT THE…..??!!” at how you juggle motherhood and your many accomplishments. But you’ve served to remind me of the age old truth, “You can do anything but you can’t do everything.” The laundry and cooking might suffer for the sake of some of your other goals, and it’s really o.k. It’s a relief, actually, to know that people aren’t out there doing EVERYTHING great, all of the time. I love you for being real, and I really do think you all are pretty freaking amazing businesswomen and mothers. Keep being you!!

    • Small Fry:
      on November 17, 2013 at 11:16 pm said:

      Shelley, don’t apologize! I have those same feelings and I think we all want to understand how one another is handling this crazy season of life. I have so many areas where I feel like I fail and let people down all the time. So many days I want to quit it all and stay in bed. Thanks for your support, it means the world!

      xo
      Emily

  6. on November 18, 2013 at 2:02 pm said:

    This rings so true for me. Beautifully written, Emily. I am always focused on the family and marriage I want. . . and it’s hard to feel like we can’t do it all . . all of the time. You have such a beautiful perspective. And following your creative path makes you a more fulfilled mommy and wife, too.

  7. Allison:
    on November 19, 2013 at 6:58 pm said:

    Err, I swear I’m not trying to be snarky, but couldn’t your husband wash his own shirts? What year to we live in?

    • Small Fry:
      on November 19, 2013 at 8:44 pm said:

      Sure, he could do that, but then I’d have to wash the dishes, and I hate that.

      Have a great day!

      Emily

  8. Julie:
    on December 5, 2013 at 9:17 am said:

    LOVED and needed this Emily! You so eloquently address the fact that people are so quick to ‘poke holes’. It’s like some compulsive need people have on the internet for some reason. We all do it, but why?? Thank you!

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