Oh, November. Due to the nature of Small Fry and another business I run, and just plain being the crazy Holidays, it is the busiest month of my whole year. It packs a real punch of emotions, awesome highs, and despairing lows. A lot of interested parties ask Jenna, Nicole and me: “How do you do it?” and I think a lot of times that question comes with a motive of trying to undermine and poke holes in the “how” of it all. So, I thought for those interested, I’d share! I wouldn’t dream of speaking for my other Fries, but here’s my “how”.
I (after thoughtful discussion with my husband) choose to work in, and on occasion outside, the home. Russ owns his own business too, so at times it is out of necessity for our finances, at times it is just a personal desire to contribute, and also at times just to use my talents and feed my interests. Luckily these things are almost always with my children in tow. If I can’t bring them along, I schedule everything during their life-saving shared naptime (naptime don’t ever leave us!), and if it’s a bigger time commitment, which is rare, I call on Russ or our parents (parents, don’t ever move!)
I used to think I could do it all. But, I’ve quickly learned that I have to protect myself and my family from that trap. I had to learn to say no. And re-learn it, and learn it one more time. It’s not easy, I hate missing out, I have a little bit of F.O.M.O. no matter where I am. I miss my kids and my husband when I have to be away, and I feel the momentary longing to be at the party, or styling the photoshoot, or the girl’s night. Maybe from an outside perspective it looks differently, but I say no to a lot, and choose to be home. I wish I knew the exact quote, but something a long the lines of “Don’t trade what you want most for what you want at the moment” rings in my head often. I have such a clear vision for the type of marriage, family, and life I want, and that makes it easy to see when the choices I make are building or hurting that vision. At this moment in my life, I can gratefully say that my kids are getting the best of me.
With that being said, my house is always a mess. My dinners are simple, and a lot of times take-out. My husband is patient with me when he has no clean shirts to wear because they’re all in the wash. If I get a meaningful text out to a friend I feel like I’ve conquered the world. Sometimes I’m face down in a pillow crying over how I wish I could do one thing well versus ten “just enoughs”, but then I remind myself that this life is a choice. Even the smallest of choices are building me up to the woman I hope to be one day. I think when that day comes, I’ll look back at this frazzled and worn person and be grateful, because I fought for her. Everyday. I hope you all have a happy weekend!
We had two awesome print articles published for us this month! One via the Nov/Dec 2013 Texarkana that you can view online here.
And an essay and spread for Somerset Life. You can buy this Autumn 2013 issue in most craft and book stores, but here’s a little peek!
Keep reading to see the essay!