Hoping to Adopt: Abby and Micah

My husband Micah and I met in January 2002 when we both were working for the same company.  We didn’t realize it at the time, but we had so much in common.  We both attended the same high school, although Micah had graduated years before me.  We grew up nearly 2 miles from each other, and we both attended the same church.  There was an instant connection between us and our friendship began to grow.  Looking back at that point in our lives, it was great that we had the opportunity to become such good friends because that has carried us through the most difficult times in our lives.hoping

We were married in May 2005 in Salt Lake City, UT and sealed in the Mt. Timpanogos LDS temple in December 2008, not knowing that we would struggle with infertility, we didn’t pursue parenthood right away.
On September 12, 2008, Micah joined the United States Army Reserves, after graduating from the University of Utah with his degree in communication.  It has been a unique blessing in our lives, although he has spent a number of years away from home, it has built our relationship in a way that nothing else could have.  Micah served bravely for 6 years, most recently as a Team Sergeant and his companies Medic. Due to injuries Micah sustained during his service, we made the decision to be grateful for the many blessings and opportunities the Army has given us and that it was time to move in a different direction, a different path.   In March 2013, I also made a career change having left the financial institution that I had worked for nearly 6 years to gain new learning and opportunity with another company.  I was hired to work for Myriad Genetic Laboratories, and now I have the opportunity of helping people at what may be a very difficult time in their lives. I work with amazing people and look forward to going to work everyday, I feel so lucky to be surrounded by the best co-workers and friends.
When infertility forever changed us…
In 2007 I began to have extreme pelvic pain, I started going to different doctors and it was eventually determined that I had severe Endometriosis; we were told a simple surgery could fix the issues. I had my first Laparoscopy in April of that year, unfortunately the surgery only kept the pain away for 3 months. When the pain returned we weren’t sure what to do. The pain and Endometriosis led to a 2nd Laparoscopy in 2007.
In January 2009, Micah entered Basic Training and Advanced Individual Training for the Army. Saying goodbye was very difficult for both of us but we knew it would pay off for our family in the long run.
While I took care of things at home including our sweet Siberian husky Hoot, my health struggles; which led to our infertility continued.
After Micah’s return from training, we began working closely with fertility specialists to combat any issues the Endometriosis may cause.  I started my first of six rounds of fertility drugs including Clomid and Femura. After the fertility drugs failed and it was determined that I was not ovulating, we knew having a family was going to be much more difficult than we ever thought. All I ever wanted was to be a Mom and I didn’t know how to process the heartbreak of infertility. Later in that year, the fertility drugs caused my Endometriosis to spread like wildfire and I went in for 2 more surgeries.
As we were struggling to build our family with children, we continued to build it with our “furry kids” we adopted another Siberian husky named Koda. Our boys have brought so much joy into our life and help us to remember that no matter the struggle, a cuddle and love can make any dark day bright.
In 2011, Micah was deployed for a year to the southern Philippines and we made the decision that during this year we would give my body a rest from fertility treatments with the hope that when he returned, I would be much better and we would be able to get pregnant.
While Micah was deployed, my condition worsened, the pain was so bad that I was passing out and struggling to function normally day to day.
In December of that year, it was determined that I had a tumor on the back of my uterus that needed to be removed. This was a risky surgery but one that had to be done. I was so afraid to go into surgery without Micah, as he was still deployed. Two days before I went into surgery, he surprised me and used his leave to come home and be with me. It made all the difference in the world to have him by my side.
As I came out of that surgery, our doctor explained that it was going to be extremely difficult for me to get pregnant, if possible at all. There was a lot of doubt that I could have a safe and successful pregnancy.
Our hearts broke into a million little pieces.
Micah had to return to the Philippines to complete the rest of his tour of duty.
Five surgeries, endless fertility treatments and extreme pain…we were losing hope.
Through a lot of thought, prayer and discussion we came to the conclusion that God had a plan for us and we would trust in that even if we didn’t know what that plan was.
Micah returned from his deployment in 2012, as he came home we hoped the challenges were behind us but unfortunately they would get worse before they would get better.
The Endometriosis returned with a vengeance and the pain became unbearable. Our doctors told us they felt strongly that my only chance to have quality of life and to be in any condition to one day raise a family; I would need to have a total Hysterectomy. When we were given this news, my heart stopped. How could this be happening…I was 29 years old? It seemed all our dreams were being ripped away from us and there was nothing we could do to stop it.
I will never forget that morning as Micah held my hand and told me that there was still a little one that was meant to be in our family and that we just had to go about it a little differently. I wrote a letter to our “angel baby” that day and asked our little one to hold on tight and that we will make it possible for us to be together as a family even if takes a little longer than anticipated. I think of our little one every day, hope and pray that they haven’t given up on us.
When people ask us why we want to adopt, the question is an easy one to answer but complicated in its background.  We cannot have children naturally; adoption is the only option we want to pursue to build our family. Adoption just seems like a very natural next step for us.
Adoption is not a second choice for us, just a different choice, a different road.
The desire to bring a child into our home is something that we could not explain.  Micah and I want the honor of being parents to more than our furry puppies more than anything and honestly don’t have any way of explaining it beyond that.  We remain confident that there is a child out there specifically meant to be with us in the near future.
Our struggle with infertility has opened the door for us to meet others experiencing the same thing. These people have become family and our greatest support system; we would not be where we are without them.
On March 11, 2014 we were chosen as a sponsored couple with Pound the Pavement for Parenthood. A non-profit organization that helps couples build their families through adoption or IVF by hosting fundraising events. We are so humbled and honored to have been selected to be a part of this amazing organization – it was so needed after six surgeries worth of medical bills. We are so excited for our event, which will be a golf tournament, and event for the whole family, “Par for Parenthood” at Fox Hollow golf course on August 23rd!
Our hope is that we can pay it forward through PPP and be an emotional support for others that are dealing with the infertility struggle.

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