why i chose to bottle feed

Breast versus Bottle feeding is a long time hot topic that is sure to fire people up on both sides of the spectrum. One thing we noticed when researching for this post is how moms who decided to bottle feed largely felt and feel judged and looked down on not just occasionally but day in and day out. This is heartbreaking! Having a baby is a roller coaster of intense emotions and if this post can help spark even a little understanding and compassion in others, and allow parents to let go of some of that guilt, we will consider it a success.  As parents we’ve all had those moments when we’ve felt judged for our methods, and we all agree it’s a terrible way to feel. Wouldn’t rearing children be so much more joyful if we all had the space to do it the way our intuition and stewardship dictated? A healthy and happy baby takes on many forms, just as the route it takes to bring them to your family does. Here’s what we heard from our very own readers on why they chose bottle feeding over breast.

It is what it is. This is a phrase my mom started throwing around after she had brain surgery during my high school years. It’s become a mantra of our family. My husband and I struggled with infertility and had our little double blessings on our seventh round of IUI (shame on us–they are “unnatural”!?). I knew when we got pregnant that these boys were a gift to us–not much of our own doing. I knew that it would be a complicated pregnancy and delivery and that my visions of a calm, drug free, home birth and my reclaimed beach body were out the window. I vowed early on to just roll with it. I couldn’t control potential complications, I couldn’t control my stupid gestational diabetes, I couldn’t control my ankles swelling literally to the size of my husbands thighs, I couldn’t control my transverse trouble maker of a baby B, I couldn’t control any aspect of my C-section (which was great), I certainly couldn’t control the fact that my babies screamed incessantly for the first three months of their life. Surrendering all of this, trusting my spouse, myself, our ability to make informed decisions and, in our case, leaning into our faith might as well start now because this whole journey of parenting is a crazy uncontrollable ride. So here’s some of our dirty laundry: we never fed on demand, we bottle feed and I love it, our babies sleep with their “lovies” on their faces, we make our own baby food not cause we’re healthier than anyone, but because we can’t afford the store stuff, and sometimes my boys cry — a lot. And no, they aren’t hungry, and no, they don’t have a dirty diaper. There is a lot outside of our control, but there is more than one way to raise healthy, considerate, joy-filled and honorable little humans and while there is a lot that I don’t know, I do know for certain that they will never doubt the love we have for them — a love that is forged by much more than breastfeeding or co-sleeping or any other parenting approach or tool…” — Jessica

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Find six more stories after the jump!

“I have always struggled to produce enough milk and although my milk supply has gotten better with each baby I struggled with the ridiculous guilt women are put through if they bottle feed their babies.
My first went her first three days without eating a drop because everyone told me how horrible it was to give formula. I suffered the first few months pumping only an once or two a day just to watch it disappear in a flash. When I finally called quits and gave her formula we were a much better and healthier family unit. I was a much better mom. It saved me.” — Kenni

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“I nursed two of my other three kiddos, but when my fourth was born I told my husband: The last thing I feel like doing right now is nursing this kid!  and he said: “Then Don’t!” And so it was. It’s been wonderful and liberating. — Leisy
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“I’m an adoptive mom of two kids and one of the things that has struck me the most about the bottle feeding/breast feeding chatter in the breast feeding community is that there is very little recognition of how families are built differently like ours… resulting in a need to feed differently.  Commercials on TV, articles in parenting magazines, pamphlets in doctors office (some of the most guilt inducing), and conversations at the park, play groups, and lunch dates with other moms that you might not know very well all completely turn a blind eye to the fact that breast feeding isn’t a viable of an option for all moms–and not just because they have a low milk supply.” — Maggie

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“When my son was born I began breast feeding without knowing that I was doing it wrong. He hadn’t been latching on, but as a first time mom, I was unaware of this. The nurses in the hospital watched me feed and told me I was doing it right so I continued on. Two days later my sons body weight dropped drastically as he had not been latching properly. My midwife corrected the error and my son began to feed properly, which for him meant cluster feeding for three days straight. My son would feed for at least 1 hour at a time, take a 15 minute break, then continue. After 72 hours of continuous feeding I began to break down emotionally and physically. I was in so much pain that any type of clothing or even just air, would cause tremendous pain.  After taking a few days, with doctor’s direction, I tried to begin exclusive pumping as I felt the pain might be more tolerable. I was wrong and I even developed thrush. My supply quickly diminished so my midwife prescribed the highest dosage of medication to increase my supply. I was on it for 8 weeks and wasn’t even producing enough milk for one feeding a day.  I sometimes still feel guilty and selfish about not sticking it out as formula feeding, but I think whatever makes the mother happy and love her job as a mom, is all that matters. Why not support each other for all that we do. And we do A LOT.” — Lauren

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“I struggled to conceive for nearly five years and when I finally did, it was thrilling. I had some reservations about breast feeding but knew I wanted to give it a go. It didn’t come easy and my son needed supplementation from the very start in the hospital. My big 9lbs 9oz baby boy needed more than I could give and we just didn’t seem to sync. After two weeks of struggling and regular visits to the lactation specialists, one of them finally realized he was ‘tongue tied‘ and that he needed to have it clipped. I thought for sure our troubles would be over soon, but that was not the case. I was ‘power pumping’ which is 10 minutes of pumping every hour, not the most glorious 48 hours. All along I was supplementing with formula and my boy was growing and developing just fine. When I went to see my OBGYN at my 6 week appointment I told him of all my struggles and nearly lost it in his office. He gave me the best advice.  He told me that this was ‘causing me too much stress and that it is far more important for you to be mentally healthy for your baby than to breast feed.’  I nearly flew out of the office that day, a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I felt relief that I could close the breast feeding chapter.

I later learned that the condition (PCOS) that had caused my infertility was also one of the main contributors in my low supply of milk. It wasn’t an easy choice to make. I felt a lot of grief, experienced a lot of judgmental stares and even had some ridiculous comments from women. It is a very personal choice that each Mother needs to make on their own. I know it was right for me!” — Natalie

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“I planned to nurse my first for 12 months. I wondered why anyone would ever formula feed. It truly baffled me. My son was born and feedings were a huge and unexpected challenge. The nurses offered me a nipple shield, a pump and formula. I was dead set on nursing my baby! I fed him through blood, sweat, tears, anxiety, stress, depression for 6 weeks. I hated every second of it. It was so painful and overwhelming. At my 6 week check-up I told my doctor I thought I had mastitis. She gave me an antibiotic and I pressed on with nursing. A week later I returned with worse symptoms. She  said I was just engorged from trying to empty the breast. I kept on with dreading the next toe curling pain of feeding. We traveled out of town for two weeks and the mastitis got worse. I woke up every day in tears. I could barely dress. I was so engorged my clothes didn’t fit. I saw an urgent care doctor and ER doctor. I thought I was developing an abscess but both reassured me it would pass. I kept on nursing away. On our 15 hour drive home we pulled into a parking lot so I could pump and my husband could give our son a bottle. As I pumped an abscess in my infected breast burst. We called the doctor who said we could continue our drive but to go straight to the ER once home. We did so. We made it to the hospital and at age 24 I had a partial mastectomy as a result. In addition to two surgeries to make incisions so that the wound could be packed and cleaned properly. I was more heartbroken about the end of my Breastfeeding journey than anything. I spent a month going to wound care daily to have my breast unpacked, cleaned and repacked. I would lie on the table at wound care cursing my doctor for ignoring my claims. Thinking I could be a at home with my baby cuddled up nursing. I support Breastfeeding in every way. I do think it’s best. But I will always have heartache over it. It hurts to hear about it and see it. I was ashamed to shake up the bottle or formula in public. Ashamed to carry boxes of formula to the cash register. I looked like a perfectly healthy happy mom, why would I be feeding my baby that stuff? I don’t think that the pro Breastfeeding movement people understand how deeply it hurts those of us who tried so hard, but couldn’t do it.

I have two perfectly healthy, smart and beautiful babies. They never missed a meal or went without. I got extra hours of sleep and minutes to shower or play with my toddler while someone else could feed my newborn. There were so many elements of ease to bottle feeding. I saved up Enfamil checks, got coupons from mom friends that were chugging along beautifully Breastfeeding. It is such a difficult topic. It was so humbling for me to have such a disaster of an experience Breastfeeding!” — Candace

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“At about 4 months old, my twin boys went on a nursing strike a few days apart from each other.  A lactation specialist told me to only offer the breast and stop giving them bottles.  She said they would eat if they got hungry enough. Thankfully, I did not listen to her and realized that the most important thing was that my babies were fed and healthy. I needed them to eat and if they preferred bottles, then that’s what we were going to do! I started pumping exclusively. They were eating so much better for the bottle, my husband was able to help out more and we were all happier. I tried to get them back into nursing several times, but they refused every time.  I finally gave up the fight and became an exclusive pumper until the boys were about 9 months old.  My supply had dropped and I just couldn’t keep up.  Frankly, I was totally over pumping 8 times a day and wanted my body back!  I was proud of myself for making it that long and happy to move on to formula.” — Lacey

Comments

  1. Lindsay:
    on January 6, 2015 at 7:18 am said:

    THANK YOU FOR THIS POST. I bottle fed because I had issues with my milk supply coming in, partly because I was induced and my body wasn’t quite ready. I worked at it for the first week of my daughter’s life and it made us both miserable. She wasn’t getting enough to eat and I was emotional, depressed, and sitting there with sore nipples. When she started showing signs of dehydration I said enough. We bottle fed formula and never looked back and it was the best thing we ever did. Anyone in my family could feed her, I could get some much needed sleep, and everyone was happier. I would do it again in a heartbeat if we have another baby. This judgement that mothers pass on each other is terrible. As women we need to support each other because sometimes no one else will.

  2. Courtney:
    on January 6, 2015 at 7:29 am said:

    YES! THANK YOU FOR THIS POST! I get it that breastfeeding is best for babies, but it’s not always best for moms. With my 1st, I tried and struggled and she was losing weight, and when my pediatrician told me it was ok to bottle feed, I felt such a weight lift off my shoulders. I could see light again in our life. I tried again with my 2nd with the same results but I switched to formula sooner and both of my girls are very healthy happy kids. Why would we shame someone who only wants healthy happy babies?

  3. on January 6, 2015 at 8:51 am said:

    thank you for this post!!! it’s SO NICE to see this side- i felt judged CONSTANTLY for not nursing (and not enjoying nursing). i wish there was more acceptance for decisions people make – unintentionally and intentionally!

  4. Jessica:
    on January 6, 2015 at 9:09 am said:

    Thank you for sharing this! I wanted to breastfeed but was so unaware, as a first time mom, how overwhelming everything would be. I was not prepared for the depression, the pain of breastfeeding, the sleeplessness…bottom line I was not prepared.(who is!?) I was so depressed and thought bottle feeding would help, I developed thrush and felt so lost. Looking back I think I could have handled things differently in some ways, but we switched to bottle feeding and at the time it was the right decision for our family. I think the bigger issue is the judgement and I completely agree, I felt ashamed to talk about it, which is no way for a mother to feel. Hopefully this can bring awareness to people’s individual circumstances and help us all just get along, free of judgement.

  5. Kate:
    on January 6, 2015 at 9:46 am said:

    Thank you for posting this, and thank you for all the moms who shared their stories! As someone who is not yet a mom, it completely baffles me how fierce people get about breastfeeding vs bottle, when it’s really nobody’s business but the parents. I have Crohn’s Disease, and I’m on a medication that will likely prevent me from breastfeeding. In the end, I know I need to be healthy if I want my child to be healthy, and that’s what’s most important.

  6. JD:
    on January 6, 2015 at 10:00 am said:

    BEST POST EVER. Thank you for remembering US. us women that have tried, or decided not to try, or didn’t want to or for whatever reason . I have had to almost yell at women and shake them and say IT DID NOT WORK. The pain was worse than labour. And the joy of watching daddy get to feed his 1 day old baby – Ladies THAT IS AMAZING. And when Grandpa got to feed baby at 3 days old- TEAR JERKING BEAUTIFUL. I took pictures. Every story is different! Let’s stop the judging and look at the beautiful side 🙂

  7. on January 6, 2015 at 10:06 am said:

    I can’t thank you enough for posting this article! As a mom who chose not to breastfeed, it’s nice to see other moms out there who decided to bottle feed for whatever reason. For me, it just didn’t come natural and I had no desire to even try it. And guess what??!! My kids are perfectly healthy, happy and smart! Awesome post!

  8. Ashley:
    on January 6, 2015 at 10:18 am said:

    Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this! My second child was born November 24th and was determined to breastfeed her (partly because I felt guilty if I didn’t). I started breastfeeding her since the moment I saw her and it felt like she was always feeding! I had a c-section so recovering and constantly feeding her was breaking me down. My husband felt helpless cause he couldn’t really help me. Every time the baby was crying it was up to me to feed her and sooth her. My husband felt like he wasn’t bonding with our daughter because he couldn’t get her to stop crying. Week 4 I started pumping because I had to back to work at Week 6 and I was curious to see how much my daughter was actually getting… it wasn’t much. NO wonder she was hungry all the time. I just couldn’t do it anymore.. my husband could tell that over the 4 weeks I was just completely worn out! SO.. he went out and purchased the supplement formula… MAGIC my daughter was happy and full and I was happier too! My husband could feed our daughter and felt like he was finally bonding with her. However, I see the judgmental eyes where ever we go! I have a strong family base that support our decision to bottle feed which makes me not feel as guilty.. but I sometimes I feel like I let my daughter down.. and I HATE that. I should never feel that way. The nurses and doctors are so pushy and make you feel horrible if you bottle feed.. this needs to change. Having a child is a roller coaster and us mothers need nothing but positive support but it seems like it is nothing but negativity at every turn.

  9. Jill H:
    on January 6, 2015 at 10:19 am said:

    Cutest sweetest family on the top! (Ps I might know them!!)

    I am nursing my 10 month old and can I just say that although I feel incredibly blessed that it came easily; but I cannot.wait. to be done!! I cannot wait for the freedom of not being anyone else’s source of nutrition! I love her, but golly it ties a person down! She will be cut off shortly after 1 yr….sorry sweet Olive!

  10. Camille:
    on January 6, 2015 at 10:24 am said:

    First – I was an infant fed baby and I think I’m pretty awesome – ha! I turned out just fine, right?! Additionally, I’ve had 5 children and I’ve breastfed all of them. I think they are pretty awesome too.

    YET – this article really kinda is a turnoff in what once again becomes a “battle among women” – who is right, which is best, feeling judged, etc etc etc!!! It’s something, I’ve sadly seen over and over since the day I became a mother 11 years ago. I can vividly remember being at a play group when my daughter was 2 years old and hearing other mothers around me comparing how skinny their daughters were or how their daughters were “girly girls”….um I’m pretty sure all 2 year olds are pretty skinny and pretty sure they are all girls.

    The problem is…as mothers we spend HOURS AND HOURS decorating our nurseries, shopping for clothes, finding the cutest headbands and shoes on instagram to order, countless hours on blogs to post pictures of our growing bellies, and listening to women share stories of their experiences that seem “so perfect” – when the fact of the matter is whether you breastfed or bottle fed, mothering is HARD STUFF! Awesome stuff, but HARD!

    In my opinion, the reality is there is a lack of education in actually mothering in general. What happened to all the prenatal education classes? Lactation classes? Reading books about mothering? Whether you breastfed or bottle-fed almost isn’t the point, it’s the preparation to understand the differences. To have the tools necessary to do either (bottle-fed, breastfed…or in maybe some instances BOTH!). Why do we prepare for all the other things and then when the baby is born, the most vital issue is nutrition and it’s like women are shocked to find out their breast are going to be cement bricks, their nipples may crack, their milk supply might be low, their infant may not latch, it might be painful, the baby might cry, and they are exhausted….um, pretty sure that is the definition of a mother after she has a baby. Don’t be fooled…when you hear your girlfriends or sister in laws or neighbors share stories that explode with sugar plums and dancing fairies about their pregnancies, labor experiences or nursing their infants…I’m sorry but most of them are embellished. I know this, because I’ve been a labor and delivery nurse for 15 years if 5 different states and it’s just not true. Maybe there are a handful of a lucky few who slide bye without difficulties…no morning sickness, hormonal up and down swings, weight gain, swelling, hemorrhoids, stretch marks, perineal tears during delivery, not sleeping for hours and days on end, nipple pain, depression…on and on….but these are FEW and FAR between.

    Additionally, it’s just hard to always hear women feeling judged for certain things they do…who cares what other people think. Bottle fed or breast fed – know your options and educate yourselves. I mean I just saw a segment this morning about a mother being kicked out of Costco for breastfeeding her infant in the food court – would a mother bottle feeding be kicked out of the food court?

    I’m currently in the process of becoming a midwife…whether you want an epidural or no pain medication at all – I don’t really care. Whether you want to breastfed or bottle fed, that’s up to you. The issue is education. The issue is support. The issue is sometimes stepping out of the warped world that social media can create that becoming a mother is all roses and flowers.

    I love being a nurse and helping mothers through their labor process. I love helping you nurse your infant or even provide immediate skin to skin after your baby is born – even if you aren’t breastfeeding. I’m more than happy to help you understand how to give those first bottle feedings and talk about the differences in formula. I don’t judge you and trust me, after 15 years of working with other nurses, whether you believe it or not, they don’t judge you either. They want to give you all the options they can and help you in anyway they can.

    I can’t wait to become a midwife to support women on their educated decisions. My passion is women supporting women. Women sticking together. Women letting go of expectations and seriously – I mean SERIOUSLY start giving ourselves more credit for all our strengths instead of capitalizing on what we think are our weaknesses or failures.

    I love being a mother and fully understand that everyday I’m making decisions that others might agree or disagree with. And I’m okay with that.

    xo to mothers everywhere who have the have the courage to raise children…those who become pregnant the first month they try, those who struggle with fertility, those who adopt or those that mother in other ways by being a great aunt, example to children in the neighborhood, caregiver to elderly, or who provide tenderness and affection to those that need it most.

    yours in mothering,
    camille kesler

    • Maria:
      on January 30, 2015 at 8:08 pm said:

      Pefectly said! Education and women supporting women is vital!

  11. Lynn:
    on January 6, 2015 at 10:33 am said:

    I successfully nursed my daughter (now 6 years old) for 7 months. When my son was born last spring, he was completely different. He was a planned C-section, so my milk supply took longer than the previous time to come in. He is very tongue tied and somewhat lip tied too, but I didn’t have the heart to have the surgery done. He had problems latching. He wouldn’t eat on the left breast at all, and on the right, he would only eat about half the available milk. He would get either too tired or too frustrated to finish it. So I would need to supplement with a bottle of half breast/half formula at the end of the feeding, put him down to sleep, and then try pumping out the left breast and the remaining milk in the right breast. Meanwhile, during the pumping 5 times a day, I had to be alone or it didn’t go well, and could not have my 6 year old in the room, which broke my heart that I was always banishing myself to the bedroom to pump alone. So after 2 1/2 months of nurse, bottle, pump, repeat, I had to call it quits (also because I had to go back to work). Even with the bottle, my son still had problems latching, and developed a blister on the roof of his mouth. We had to catch milk dribbles out the side of his mouth with burp cloths. His weight dropped to the 25th percentile.

    But now he has discovered how great baby food can be, and feeding is a breeze. He eats baby food and formula powder mixed with cereal and fruit a few times a day, and has bottles during quiet times at night and in the morning.

    I luckily had very supportive people around me that were understanding that I it just wasn’t possible to nurse/bottle feed/pump so many times every day and also go back to work, and that I had another child that needed attention as well. We tried, and it just didn’t work out, and I don’t regret switching to the bottle at all. Thanks for writing this post to support moms that switched to the bottle right away, or gave breast feeding a try and it just didn’t work out. There is absolutely no shame in either.

    • Jen:
      on January 6, 2015 at 12:42 pm said:

      Regarding the lip tied and tongue tied: my now 14 y.o. son was that way. The surgeries are just little snips and besides the sucking issue, it also can interfere with speech development and even negatively impact dental status. It’s hard to let a doctor “hurt” your baby, but they can apply a topical numbing agent first.

  12. Kaitlin:
    on January 6, 2015 at 10:37 am said:

    Such a refreshing post! I was alone when I delivered my first baby (extended family and sisters far away). My husband and I assumed my newborn was getting enough milk when she ate, but when I took her into the doctor for her first check up, he told me that she had dropped weight and to make whatever decision I wanted about feeding her, but to make it NOW because she needed the nutrients immediately. I tried to put my guilt aside and decided to pump. She was bottle fed exclusively from then on out and I was always offended that people claim you can’t “bond” with a baby if they aren’t breast fed. That is a bunch of rubbish! You can still have a closeness with your newborn if you feed them via bottle. We need to stop giving moms who bottle feed a hard time. Most moms are trying the best they can!

  13. Mandy:
    on January 6, 2015 at 10:52 am said:

    I cried through this entire post. I wish I had seen this when I was a new mom and crying because my milk wouldn’t come in. I had someone actually tell me that I was POISONING my baby with formula. I stressed and cried every time I had to feed my baby anything less than the best that she deserved. Thank you for this post, Small Fry! I just love ya.

  14. Kristen:
    on January 6, 2015 at 11:12 am said:

    THANKS for this post… I formula fed BECAUSE I WANTED TO! I never even tried breast feeding because I knew in my heart what was best for me. FORMULA FEEDING MOMS ARE STILL MOMS TOO!

  15. Marissa:
    on January 6, 2015 at 11:35 am said:

    I was dead set on straight-up breastfeeding: no supplementing, no bottles, no pumping, no pacifiers. When he was 2 days old, my son screamed bloody murder for 8 straight hours until I gave in and offered a bottle of formula and he chugged 2 entire bottles on the spot. I kept trying for 3 weeks–I didn’t eat or sleep, I got depressed, and I broke down a lot because I felt just so crappy (I was also dealing with emergency C section recovery), then I got sick and my already-not-enough milk supply cut in half… and I had just HAD IT. I felt like such a failure then, and even now it still makes me a little sad, but formula literally freed me to love motherhood.

  16. Alycia:
    on January 6, 2015 at 12:20 pm said:

    This post strikes a cord with my heart! I ended up being able to breast feed my son but it was such an emotional roller coaster. Looking back I know I pushed so hard to get him to breast feed because I was so devastated that my pregnancy ended in a long traumatic induced labor eventually leading to a c-section. In some strange way I felt like my body had failed me. And then when my milk didn’t appear to be coming in, and the pain with feeding started I was beside myself. I thought I couldn’t give birth and now I can’t even feed my child?! After weeks of pumping, formula feeding at the breast with a nipple shield and syringe, renting a scale so I could actually calculate his intake, painful feedings, and countless hours with nursing support groups I realized he had a posterior tongue tie and a lip tie. Mind you this was after 3 doctors and at least 3 lactation consultants had told me his tongue was fine!!! I got his ties revised the next week and all of a sudden it was as if nursing was second nature! I cried my eyes out. That experience gave me so much empathy for other mothers struggling with not only feeding issues but whatever happens on the journey of having a baby. Things work so seamlessly for some people, and it’s frustrating when they tell you you’re worrying too much or too uptight etc. We women need to help give praise, encouragement and support along the way.

  17. Anna:
    on January 6, 2015 at 1:13 pm said:

    i enjoyed reading this but I have to say it goes both ways. People could not understand why I would breastfeed and not just give a bottle. I got a lot of flak about that. My sister looked at me in disgust when she realized I was still nursing my 18 month. Why can’t we just support each other’s decisions. There’s nothing wrong with breastfeeding or bottle feeding, what’s important is the child is being fed.

  18. Lisa:
    on January 6, 2015 at 2:27 pm said:

    I’m just grateful we have options! I love breast feeding. It’s bonding time with my babies, but breast feedig plays a direct role in postpartum depression as I discovered when I weaned my first baby at 6 months and immediately felt like a more functional and happy person despite the grief of having to stop breast feeding. I’m now debating whether or not to wean my 4 month old because on the one hand, breast feeding is working for him, but on the other hand, I know I would be a much more sane and functional mom to both my babies if I weaned. Thank heaven for the options!

  19. Amanda:
    on January 6, 2015 at 10:07 pm said:

    Such a great post! I was determined to breastfeed and do believe in the nutritional benefits, but somethings just don’t happen. I developed serious pneumonia right after having my baby and was put in the ICU for the first week of her life and I still pumped with breathing machines hooked up to me. Since I had so many medications and wasn’t with my baby my supply never came back. I tried for 8 more weeks pumping, going to lactation, and taking every natural supplement possible, but it just never came back. I breastfeed and then gave her a bottle for 4 months and then she got to frustrated by the low supply. I feel like moms where breastfeeding comes easy to them judge those that can’t thinking they didn’t try hard enough. Everyone’s story is different- some of us try and we just can’t.

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  21. Sandy:
    on January 7, 2015 at 3:01 pm said:

    Thank you for this article as it will be helpful to moms who are trying to decide if they want to breast or bottle feed. I chose to bottle feed my daughter from birth. I had no interest in breast feeding and appreciated all of the positive effects bottle feeding would have on our lives, especially as a new mom. I received lots of “education” from family and friends on why I should breastfeed, but the arguments just weren’t compelling enough or rooted in enough fact to sway my opinion. To other new moms who are considering bottle feeding, make your decision based on what is right for you and your family. I am glad I did, and I now have a happy, healthy, bonded to her mommy (and daddy), smart 15 month old. And for those new moms who choose to breastfeed, that’s great, too! The important thing is that we allow moms to make the decision for themselves, and not judge or second guess them in the decisions they make. And really, when you are getting up multiple times a night to feed, the last thing you are going to be thinking about is haters – in those moments, your baby is the only important thing on your mind.

  22. Molly:
    on January 7, 2015 at 7:54 pm said:

    Thank you so much for this post. I had been over 4 years since my breastfeeding experience with my first just rocked our world and was the hardest time in my life. I relate in so many ways to these woman and thank them for sharing their stories.

  23. Whitney:
    on January 7, 2015 at 9:24 pm said:

    There’s also a whole world of medical conditions that make nursing difficult/painful/impossible. I discovered a rare circulation disorder six months into nursing. I loved nursing, but the pain and infections were overwhelming. There’s a serious lack of help for moms with nursing-when it comes to the medical issues, most doctors are sorely uninformed.

    • Lindsey:
      on January 16, 2015 at 2:22 pm said:

      Whitney-
      I agree that there needs to be more prenatal education for women and we as a whole need to seek out those sources. Many Doctors/providers don’t have the necessary time it takes to educate and support expectant mothers on breastfeeding. I saw the same need you do that’s why I got certified and now offer a source of support for women through monthly classes, home visits, and Skype sessions. Check out my page @lactationlink on instagram, or also email at lindsey@lactationlink.com

  24. Cami:
    on January 8, 2015 at 7:33 pm said:

    Thank you for posting this! With my first baby i breastfed for 6 excruciatingly painful and depressing months… I hated every second of it. My daughter was skinny so I felt that I wasn’t giving her enough to eat, so that literally made me crazy. Breastfeeding was a major factor in my post partum depression but I felt too guilt to bottle feed. I hated it so bad that I feel I didn’t bond very well with my daughter for a long time. Plus I could only breast feed alone, never in public (it just wasn’t my thing). I was terrified to get pregnant again, but when my daughter was 2 and a half, I decided I could do it. My husband and I talked a lot about feeding, we decided that if I was becoming depressed/stressed at all with breast feeding, I would just switch to formula. My son was born 3 weeks ago and he wasn’t lacthing correctly and wasn’t interested in eating. When he was 2 days old, I could feel the stress waves coming, so we decided to just go with formula…literally the best decision I could have made…I am so happy and in love with my new baby, I’m not (as) sleep deprived, I know that he’s eating enough, I don’t have to isolate myself, everything is just 46966x better with me formula feeding. Breast is best for baby but not for the mental sanity of this mom, and that’s just as important I believe!

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  31. Anton:
    on June 6, 2017 at 12:09 pm said:

    Hello Kenni, me and my class had little debate on bottle feeding and breastfeeding. Women are criticized for not being able to give breast milk. But it’s not the woman’s fault. Some women are just not able to because of some health issues. Formula is still milk. What others think should never matter to a person. You did the right thing by giving the formula. Breast milk and formula does not have a big difference. Both give some nutrient the other doesn’t. What really matters is the baby’s health. A mother should never feel bad or different than others because she can’t breastfeed. Im sure the article u made helped a lot of others mothers feel better about themselves and give formula. As you said using formula made you feel better. That’s how other women should feel about it too. You are an amazing person for writing this article.

    If you don’t mind me asking, what made you forget about what people said and just start feeding formula to you baby? Also would you rather breast milk or give formula if you were given a choice? And why?

  32. Pingback: Why I Chose to Bottlefeed – Emily | Small Fry

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