lolly girl

I woke up Saturday (January 3) morning not feeling very well. I had promised my kids we would go to the Farmer’s Market, so I got myself out of bed (but not out of my sweats) and we headed there to meet friends. Through the day I just felt really exhausted & almost flu like, I definitely thought I was coming down with something! Starting around 3 I began having contractions. Being that I’ve had pre term labor with all of my pregnancies, I really didn’t stop to think twice about regular contractions.Screen Shot 2015-01-21 at 3.32.41 PM I usually get turned away from the hospital with contractions being timed 3 min apart because I’m just not in an active labor. Super fun! :/ We laid low around the house & hung out & I contracted fairly regular for the next few hours while watching cheesy Lifetime movies. By the time bed time rolled around I was so exhausted that I just wanted the contractions to subside so I could sleep. I took a Lavender oil bath & a Tylenol PM in hopes I could sleep off the contractions which I still was sure were all a part of another false labor! I was able to drift off to sleep around midnight.

1:45 AM I wake up….wet. Gosh there really is no other way to say it. Any men reading? Probably not but I apologize in advance for everything else I’m about to write. So I’m wet but not drenched & I think “weird.” I get out of bed (my water has never broken before I’m like a 7 or 8) and I instantly feel a contraction. FREAK. Every time my water breaks I have a baby within the hour sooooo I felt the pressure, literally, to get going.

1:50 AM text my most kind neighbor “I think my water broke.” She immediately replies “I’m on my way.” She’s a dream girl I’m telling you.

1:52 AM wake husband who acts startled but then drifts off for a second time as I’m shaking him saying “hi I don’t mean to be annoying but my water broke.”

2:00 AM drive away as my neighbor is driving in to come sleep with the babies. Contractions are coming on decently strong and I’m thinking “wellll this doesn’t feel totally right.”

2:15 AM husband can’t find a parking spot at the hospital because he’s obeying all traffic laws at two am. I start crying & panicking cause I can definitely feel that something’s about to blow & I haven’t got time to worry about a parking ticket.

2:19 AM waddle in to hospital and tell the young nurse guy at the entry way to the ER “hi I’m 37 weeks pregnant & I’m about to have this baby. I need you to get me to Labor & Delivery right now.” He looks panicked (I later learn he’s new) and starts fumbling with paper work while I’m giving him death stares (I later apologize.)

2:21 AM I am FINALLY at L & D where the lady there asks me to fill out paperwork & I say “NO ONE IS TAKING ME SERIOUSLY I’M ABOUT TO HAVE THIS BABY.” So they wheel me to a room.

2:30 AM I get checked, I’m only a 4. No one starts rushing but I am telling them “look I had my last baby naturally so I know that I’m feeling it much more than a 4.” Again no one’s rushing–they’ve heard that girl say she’s about to have a baby and she’s dilated to a 2…like 300 times right?


2:41 AM The nicest nurse delivers my sweet Lolly Kate Rammell, weighing 6 lbs 15 oz and 18 inches. No time for a doctor, an epidural or so much as a breath.


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The last two weeks with our Lolly babe have been a special and deeply sacred time. We really feel like we’ve found the end of the rainbow with this magic tiny babe. Through much heart ache we longed for her & each moment we are eternally grateful for her. She is the perfect & a most cherished addition to our family & I feel so blessed to have her here safely in my arms.

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Best of SF Baby

When we mentioned some of our older DIY’s for babies last week we were shocked at how many of you hadn’t seen them before! We wanted to do a quick repost of some of our favorite ideas for recycling and upcycling for your new baby. These make awesome shower and hospital gifts and are all under a few bucks each.

First off, The Five Minute legging!

Baby leggings made of a Body Con skirt!


1. Take a body-con skirt (these are on sale and come in a bunch of colors!) and turn it inside out.

2. Using a fabric pencil or chalk draw up the leg making an inverted “U” for the crotch area.

3.Then take your sewing machine and sew over the white line you just drew. Cut the excess off and flip it right side out. Seriously, you’re done.body con baby leggings

Another favorite baby DIY is this beanie made from a t-shirt or sleeve:T-Shirt Beanie for Baby


Find more wardrobe hacks for babies and kiddos right here!

Plate Glass at my Party

Today we have an important post by one brave reader and friend, Marylin. We feel really fortunate that she was willing to come forward and share her experience so candidly. We also wanted to note that while we were prepping for this important post we learned some information that we thought might be beneficial to share. We tried at first to contrast baby blues with Postpartum Depression, put them on a nice neat little chart, but after consulting with family physcian Dr. Erika Noonan we learned an important piece to this puzzle. Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression are nearly exactly the same in symptom. The differences are merely onset and duration. Meaning that the only way to tell these differences at times are that your symptoms last longer than two weeks, or can manifest themselves at any time during the first year. With Baby Blues they usually spring on within a few days of delivery, and will be resolved within the first couple weeks. We wanted to share with you all, as we weren’t aware of the differences and maybe some of you were in our boat! Now, back to Marylin:
Postpartum Depression, those two words shouldn’t be together, side by side as partners. Having a baby is the best day, you’re finally face to squishy face with this amazing, tiny person that your body carried and supported life for, for 40 weeks. You’ve waited for this moment and it’s everything you wanted it to be. Then when you are home and adjusting to a new life, filled with one or more of these little people, visitors have gone home, meals have stopped coming in, and you’re sitting in your white wicker rocking chair with the handmade cushion, holding this now three week old baby boy, and the only emotion is sorrow. It sneaks up on you, even if you have met this darkness before, became well acquainted with it’s toxic nature, sent it packing, and now it’s returned with luggage and intentions of an extended stay.
Postpartum Despression Essay
That was me with my 4th child who is now 3 years old, although I’ve had postpartum depression with all four of my children. With the oldest I was going through a divorce within ten days of her arrival, so it’s hard to discern the PPD from the divorce so I will speak mostly of the other three experiences I’ve had. My second child was a pretty easy baby, she slept really well, which in my book gives her angel status. I wasn’t sleep deprived, my house wasn’t full of other young children since my oldest was already in school, so it took me off guard when the vivid yet intruding thoughts began when she was about 2 weeks old. They would interrupt my thoughts while carrying her down the hall, or watching her sleep in her crib, thoughts of dropping her, or her suffocating in blankets while sleeping. I was shocked by how real they appeared in my mind as if watching a movie. I cried alone and ashamed on many days, I wondered what was wrong with my mind, it was betraying me and my child. I had days that it was all I could do to get us showered and dressed. I didn’t tell anyone, and I suffered for a long time on my own, in fact I don’t remember ever getting outside help, I was scared of what others would think. I never spoke up but I know I used yoga and other types of exercise as my coping method and eventually it subsided, the horrible thoughts ceased, as did the paranoia, crying and sadness.
 Postpartum Depression Essay
With my third child, and first son the postpartum came on much stronger than previous times. I remember one evening I was sorting laundry and sobbing simultaneously, my husband walked into the room and asked me what was wrong and I simply said “I just want to die.” I meant it. There was no hope, no open door or light at the end of the tunnel. During the day I would go about taking care of my son, the house and the other two kids like I was on autopilot, the horrible thoughts, the bouts of crying, and this feeling of numbness in my head all returned with a vengeance. I was out of my mind and yet stuck there at the same time. One afternoon we pulled up to a park and I watched as my husband got all three children out of the car, he asked if I would be joining them and I just shook my head. I sat there in the quiet thinking about how it might be better for them if I wasn’t there, and then in an instance of clarity the real “Marylin” picked up the cell phone and sent a text to our amazing doctor that said “What happens if I feel like driving my car into a brick wall?” he simply replied, “Oh Marylin, I am calling in a prescription right now and you are going to pick it up.” He also requested I come back to see him. I followed through with both suggestions and it helped to a degree. For me, the medication didn’t completely fix it but it became “manageable” as they say, I was able to get through the days without the crazy thoughts and endless tears and the ideas of suicide, but I wasn’t all me.
After 3 years on medication I was wondering if I would ever find my way back when a thought came to me about the birth control method I was using. I did some quick online searches and found that a pretty large percentage of women that used the same IUD had, reported depression and excessive weight gain, both of which I was dealing with. I made the decision that day to have it removed and after talking with my doctor I decided to discontinue use of the medication as well. It took a few months but I began to see the sun again in my life, I knew that for me the increased PPD from that pregnancy was very likely related to my birth control choice.
With my last child there were so many extenuating circumstances that contributed to the PPD, a VERY sick first 22 weeks of pregnancy, a move to a new city, Preeclampsia and an early delivery in the cold, dark winter set it up like a house of cards. I was better prepared mentally though, I knew that it would come and so I began making preparations, I looked into local yoga studios, tried to make friends, found a rec center with a gym, and talked lots with my husband. I thought I was ready for it, but once again it showed up with it’s joy stealing ways and brought me to my knees on more than one day. I was sleep deprived, completely overwhelmed with a newborn that screamed from 8pm-5am and then sure – wake up and get two children off to school and entertain a 3 year old – no problem. It was survival of the fittest though and I had fight in me. I went on an all elimination diet when he was 8 weeks old and he and I began to sleep again, I added as much yoga as I could at a nearby studio and I confided in my husband instead of shutting him out. While it was far from glamorous and my knees were bruised from praying, I didn’t quit, even in my loneliest, darkest moment I knew I was going to be OK.Postpartum Depression Essay
Postpartum depression is like a thief in the night that robs you quietly, and leaves you feeling the shame. It doesn’t play by rules or care that you were supposed to be breathing every moment of that perfect newborn that you tried for years to have, suffered multiple miscarriages, prayed for, yearned for. It doesn’t care. It will linger sometimes for years after your child is born, you will have months of beautiful weather and then like you moved to Seattle it will rain for weeks on end. The most difficult part for me about PPD is how isolating it becomes. I was supposed to be bursting with rainbows and glitter after these miracles in my life and it felt more like watching the surprise party through plated glass, I could see all the good in front of me and yet I wasn’t able to fully enjoy it, it was out of my grasp. I love my children endlessly and there were definitely times of bonding and absolute bliss, holding them and sticking my nose in their necks to inhale. I know that for some, nursing becomes difficult with PPD, but for me, it was essential to bringing me out of the looking glass for periods of time when I could feel and taste every last drop of blessings being poured into my life. My husband was gracious and kind, he would give me space when I needed it, but then pull me back when I was away too long, he remind me of why it was worth staying. He is truly my living, breathing hero. He carried more than I wish he’d had to and if he ever resented me I never knew it. Anyone suffering with PPD needs a Jimmy, they just do.
I can now say that I am on the safe side of PPD, our family won’t be growing by way of my womb at any time in the future. The sad, but honest part is that it’s a huge relief, like the deep breath after a scary movie, I breathe in the new chapter of my life without postpartum depression. Of course I would never trade my children, well except that time when #4 dumped an entire gallon of milk into my carpet next to a dozen cracked eggs, I thought about it, but I wouldn’t trade them. I won’t even ask for those years back, I mourn them from time to time but I work to live right here and now with the four most important purposes in my life. I don’t talk about what I went through very often, or really at all, this is the first time I am bringing it to the surface with my face to the sun knowing I will never have to dive to those depths again, it didn’t beat me and I didn’t drown. I have learned to know that it wasn’t my fault, there is no blame. I am a believer of hope and grace and a power beyond my own. Telling my story feels strangely like I am letting go of this toxic friend, one that has taken up too many years as it is and feels good to move on and let go.
Photos by Marissa Moss.

mamaroo giveaway [closed]

Congratulations to Kimberly N. for winning this giveaway!

Another awesome giveaway for you guys today, via the geniuses over at 4moms! We’ve shared our love of the mamaRoo before, (remember when they gifted them to NICU moms for us two Christmases ago? We love them forever!) but we hadn’t had any new Small Fries of our own to really test them out. Time to get to work, Lolly! ;) We’re going to share our favorite features later on but before you get to reading, you can enter to win one for yourself!



Now for a little info on why we love this mamaRoo so much.

1. We love their little slogan and totally agree! Parents don’t bounce or swing they rock and sway, and this pretty contraption does just that. You can watch it in motion right here, and just watching it makes us sigh and breathe a little deeper. It looks so relaxing! How cozy does Lolly look?

2. The mamaRoo is now an app in the iTunes App Store! You can sync all the commands right on your phone. Set the music, the rhythm, the timer, all from your phone!



3. The design is sleek and the colors are soothing. It is not obnoxious as so many other pieces of baby gear can be!

4. The mamaRoo is SO quiet. The movement is fluid and unless music is on you don’t hear it. Such a refreshing feature for us and our history of squeaky swings.





5. There are so many different settings you can use it for so many different purposes as your baby grows!

6. It will buy you an extra half-hour for a shower. Win! Obviously for purposes other than a quick photo for this review the the straps are soft and secure easily so your little bundle is snug and safe!

Good luck, we hope you win!

Belly Bandit [giveaway!]

We already shared our favorite nursing bra with you earlier this month, so today we’re excited to be able to give it, plus a couple other Belly Bandit favorites away to one lucky mama! Here’s what you can win:
The BDA is the perfect day or night bra, it slips right over and the secures right back. There are no clasps or buttons and that is a definite plus for those late night feedings. ($37)
And that Bandita again, so pretty! This has more support and form and great for day use and going out! ($47)
Bandita Bra
Lastly, the Mother Tucker Corset! We have all dabbled in postpartum binding, which European and Latin cultures do religiously. Have you tried it? It’s so nice to feel supported and held in all around your core, and on top of that it helps your hips shrink back to their pre-baby width. ($90)
Mother Tucker Corset
$180+  in Belly Bandit favorites can be yours, just enter below! Good luck, and have a  great weekend! We’ll be back with more goods for mama and baby next week.

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