Our daughter’s name is Sam and she went to heaven when she was just 9 months and 6 days old.
I had to feel my heart break in order to piece it back together. My name is Jacqueline and this is my adoption story.
Before I had my wonderful experience with adoption I would never in a million years have guessed my fate as a birth mother. For the confused, naiive twenty year old college student, my pregnancy was definitely unexpected and at first seemed like the end of my world; in some ways it was. The scared girl I was prior to my pregnancy and the strong, independent woman I blossomed into after seem like two different people. Adoption wound up being one of the most pivotal life lessons to define who my character really is, a character that continues to grow and learn every day.
The day I found out that the reason I was so sick for so long was not some exotic stomach flu and in fact was a nine week old fetus, I knew immediately that the road ahead was filled with tough decisions and running away from them was not an option. Read more
My Dear sweet Zellie,
I have been working on your journal. I try to write in it often so I will never forget a thing about the moments I am blessed to spend with you. You are two weeks old now. These have been the two most amazing weeks of my life. You are so perfect. So so perfect. In those moments when you wake me in the night, the moment you are in my arms I am overwhelmed at the amount of love I have for you. My heart just swells with gratitude for being able to have you in our life.
Your Dad and I were talking last night as we were getting ready for bed. We both feel the same. You are ours…you were meant to be ours. We know that you just had to come to us through a very special journey, because you are a rare beauty who needed to touch many lives along your way here to your home. You are so special.. You have so many who love you and are better people because you are here. When I hold you I feel so much love radiate from you. I feel very honored you chose us!
You coming to us was a ride. One full of many tears. In the beginning the tears that were shed were out of sadness, heartache and frustration. Now my little special one, the tears that run down our faces constantly as we watch and hold you are ones of pure joy, gratitude and love.
On January 21, 2011 our lives changed forever because you were brought to this earth. Your Dad and I were sleeping peacefully as we dreamed of your soon arrival. We received a call at 5:41am that you were trying to make your early arrival.
Your Dad rushed to his work to pick up a van so we would have room for your grandparents and all our gear. I could hardly think clearly as I set everything we would need by the door ready to be loaded. Every few minutes I would burst into tears. I just couldn’t believe that is was happening and I would get to be your Mom. I was so excited, overjoyed, nervous and happy to meet you.
We tried to entertain ourselves on the the long 12 hour drive, but we failed miserably. We all just couldn’t get you off our minds. At 1:01 pm we received a text with your very first picture announcing you had entered the world at 7 pounds 10 ounces. The four of us shed tears and couldn’t believe how beautiful you were. Your Dad and I couldn’t believe you were here! We were going to be parents. Read more
We are Timmy and Niccole the overly excited parents of our son Ollie, and Thor
our Maltese. Prior to being married Niccole knew that at some point
in her life she wanted to adopt children, her mother was adopted
at birth, so naturally adoption had always been a part
of her life. Timmy thought adoption sounded like a great idea in the
future. We enjoyed five fun years of marriage together studying, working, traveling and enjoying our lives together with out any children.
After many years of trying to become pregnant without
any infertility treatments, the thought popped into our heads that NOW
is the time for us to adopt! DUH!
The day our birth mother contacted us we were shocked! We were hit with a flood of emotions that we still can remember today. Through ourcorrespondence with our birth mother we got to know each other and
felt so much love for her. We had the great privilege of spending many
months with our birth mother and lots of sleepovers at our home. She
was and is like a little sister to Niccole. We grew to love her more
than we can adequately express. She is a dream come true to us! She
gave birth to our sweet angel, Ollie,in September 2011.
We were so fortunate to be at the hospital with her and got to partake in
watching her love Ollie just as we do. She is incredibly strong. Those
days were extremely emotional for each of us. We were so ecstatic to
be parents yet our hearts were breaking watching the pain in her eyes.
We cannot imagine how painful that time was for her.
Ollie is the joy of our lives. He is the most beautiful child ever
with a wild curly fro, chunky thighs and a big belly. His rosy cheeks
are full, his lips are luscious and his skin is milky smooth. He is
the perfect mix of African-American, Panamanian and Caucasian. A true
We have witnessed in our lives a modern day miracle. We are still in
awe of our adoption journey. With out God in our lives
this would not be possible. We can still recall feeling surrounded in
so much love through out many times of the adoption process. The
spirit touched us and our birth family in ways we never had known
before. There is not a day that passes that we are not thinking of our
birth mother. It has been a joy to watch her move forward in her life.
She has overcome giant obstacles and continues to thrive. We are truly
grateful to maintain a life long and forever relationship with her.
Niccole absolutely loves being a stay at home mother. She left her
fashion career behind and has never looked back. She spoils Ollie each
day. Which is evident in the mass amounts of photos she continually
posts on Instagram! Timmy is lucky to work for himself with an office
10 minutes from our home. We spend a lot of time together toting Ollie
all over the place! Timmy enjoys surfing and photography so each
Saturday you can find us in Laguna Beach, CA on the sand.
Ollie is now 18 months, the time sure does fly! He is very active and
enjoys playing with our 8-pound pup. But he really needs a sibling!
We are eager to grow our family once again through adoption. We plan
to adopt all of our children and pray that once again we can witness
another miracle in our lives.
To catch a glimpse into our daily lives and see what we are all about
follow us along on Instagram. What you see is what you get! The good,
the sad, the fun, the boring, it’s all us.
And on our blog.
We sure would love for you to help spread the word that we are looking
to adopt in the United States. Thank you for reading along!
Timmy, Niccole, Ollie and Thor Johnson
When we wrote our pivotal moments in motherhood a few months ago, (see Nicole’s, Jenna’s and Emily’s) we talked about the possibility of Jenna sharing this story with you. The timing wasn’t right, but we didn’t know why. Then weeks later, Jenna came to us with an idea.
We had all seen a recent post by Kristen Howerton (we filmed her family a few months ago, here!) about adoption advocacy and how it is really only championed by those who are looking to adopt, or are in an adoptive family themselves. Even amongst ourselves we see the great divide of understanding and compassion. It is hard to explain or describe unless you have experienced it, but we are lucky to have a first and second hand experience within Small Fry. This is when Jenna urged us to move forward with a week devoting our little space of the Internet to those families who will share beautiful stories of adoption, painful stories of loss and longing messages of hope for children to join their family.
Our hope is that through this week adoption can be more of an open dialogue for all of us, adopted or not, fertile or infertile. Our hope is that there will be comments through the week of encouragement, and love, and that you will be inspired by these families’ stories.
Here is Jenna’s: Read more