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maternity

post-partum faves | SMALL FRY

post-partum faves

March 29, 2020

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How do you know your mom loves you? — a common q

How do you know your mom loves you? — a common question on these All About Mom interview papers scattering my bedside table.

It’s such a powerful thing to be able to spot and feel the many different ways to be loved.

Like when Hayes just wants me sit by him while he does homework. Or Cal being able to sense my heart, from just a look in my eye, and say “Are you okay, mom?” Maybe when Raleigh snuggles up and asks for 5 more kisses since he’s 5? Or how Woody twirls my hair in his fingers or runs to me when he’s sad. These boys are the only ones to know my heart from both the inside and out. What an honor it is to be loved by them in each of their special ways. A happy Mother’s Day to say the least. ♡

When Russ was growing up he remembered asking his

When Russ was growing up he remembered asking his dad while they worked on a car in the garage — Is God real? Why are we here? Where were we before this? What happens to us when we die? and to each answer his dad shrugged and replied “I don’t know?” Russ was so uneasy, and anxious about all the uncertainty, the randomness of it all, and it wasn’t until he was 15 that he had the courage to ask again.

This time with a different crowd, he was given a whole new outlook that gave him the peace he so desperately wanted. And eventually he joined the church we attend to this day together. He’ll tell you that decision changed his life, and for the better.

Sometimes I think about what a leg up I had. To have been given assurance and a purpose of who I am, and where I come from, and where I’m going, from the start. Some may(do😆) say I’m a fool to believe, to stay. But I think, when I take my last breath, whether that’s tomorrow or decades from now. No matter if I’m food for worms or rocking a white toga doing the backstroke in the clouds. Choosing to believe in miracles, in a life before and after this, in grace and redemption, in a brother who would die for me. I can’t imagine another way. Happy Easter, everyone! ✝️ 🕊

•When he walks in the door from anywhere else an

•When he walks in the door from anywhere else and says “Good news!” and then recaps whatever he just did. “Good news! I just did a flip on the tramp!” Etc etc.
•When Hayes comes home from school and he says “Hey my best paaaal!”
•His obsession with sending voice to text messages. Usually something like “Dad kissed mom” which he thinks it’s the most hilarious thing he’s ever seen.
It’s not all cute — he also sasses with the best of them:
•”Mom you have to chillax”🙄
•I asked him to grab me a diaper and he said “I’m not your waitress”
•or when he is “Weally disappointed, I asked for tutambahs🥒wike a hundred hours ago.”

Sweet or sour I cannot tolerate him aging one more day, it hurts!! Full day kindergarten next year makes me want to weep. I will not celebrate a wiggly tooth or when he learns to say Peter Cups correctly (Reese’s.) Had to immortalize this moment in time. Suspending toddler and boyhood, 5 years old is pretty hard to beat in my book. Photos by @candid.kids ♡

2.28 — Woody was born when the news was just bre

2.28 — Woody was born when the news was just breaking about 🦠 and it’s overwhelming to think about all that has happened worldwide and here at home. How grateful I am for this little angel. He is my grounding force, literally keeps me anchored with his hand in my hair. Days I thought I might rather float away he gave me purpose and joy. He is always(!) happy when he is near us, and it is contagious. (It is all true what they say about Pandemic Babies.)🌪🎉😅🐒

Processing my “last” leveling up to toddler brings up a lot of emotions. The baby stage is where I shine, it’s still TBD if I have anything to offer the rest of the stages. 😏 But he has blessed us all so much and we are going out on a high note! We love you so much Woodrow Shia, and we know you love us too.♡

⁣ The beginnings of our story were a rollercoast

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The beginnings of our story were a rollercoaster. I see now how afraid we both were in different ways. To get hurt, to trust, to commit, to surrender. Both stubborn as oxen, even still. Getting married young to a guy I dated in high school was nowhere in my “plans”. And the people in our lives hadn’t had much luck, why would we be any different? I tried to force my own plan so hard it broke us many times. So we’d run our separate courses, but always seemed to find our way back. One particular time I caught sight of him after awhile apart and called and broke up with a guy on the spot (sorry Shad wherever you are 😬😂) ⁣
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We were both in Las Vegas at the same time and walked the strip to the Bellagio Water Show. Elvis Presley played and the water danced and I felt safe and at home just touching shoulders with him. A feeling I have experienced many times since. I decided to stop trying to force plan A and just follow my heart. A few months later we were engaged. When I look back at the past 20 years there is really only one constant. One piece of steady ground. One thing I dared lean on that has never once let me fall. A witness to it all, to tell me when I’m off course and to defend me when I’m unkind to myself. One safe place to let my heart rest. And that is Russ Frame. ⁣
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“Take my hand, take my whole life too, cause I can’t help falling in love with you.” Happy Valentine’s Day and happy 38th to the best Plan B, and thank God for that.

“The most potent muse of all is our own inner ch

“The most potent muse of all is our own inner child.” — S. Nachmanovitch⁣
⁣
Kip was lost a couple weeks ago for an afternoon and I ~freaked~ out. An over-the-top reaction that I had to sit with for awhile🤔… Then I remembered how my siblings all got pets and I would try not to get attached because they never seemed to last very long. And when they would die or run away or disappear in the night, magically returning from whence they came 😏— I would bawl myself to sleep. And then another pet would show up, a gerbil even, and I would scream and fight and BEG them, NO MORE PETS!! How can you people keep loving and losing?!? This is madness!! It broke my little heart so much, I swore off pets for 30 years.⁣
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And then a little old Aussie adopted us when we first moved in. And I loved him so much. And I realized that turning off my heart made it so I never had another pet to lose, but also made sure I was never loved by one, either. That is tragic. So sure, Kip was “for Cal”, but he ended up being for six year old Emily, too. To let her love and, more importantly, BE LOVED even when she might lose. She’s my muse this year, and I can’t wait to show you what we’ve got up our sleeve. ❤️‍🔥

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