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Somehow months or even years ago Collin talked to

Somehow months or even years ago Collin talked to his family about what kind of funeral he would want. “I want toes tapping, I want it to be a party.” You better believe we’re doing just that, we hope you can come!
#lovelikecollin #livelikecollin #savethekids

We’re all seeing his effect now, so you can imag

We’re all seeing his effect now, so you can imagine his effect when he dedicated 24/7 to the cause he believed in most. He served a two year service mission to Taipei, Taiwan for our church and at the time, you leave your family and you can write letters and call on Christmas and Mother’s Day. That’s it. Your day to day schedule is devoted to studying scripture, serving others, sharing the message of our church, working with those interested to join and, if all goes well, baptize them to be a member. In a notoriously uninterested country, Collin seemed to change hearts in droves. ⠀
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But in order to do that he had to leave his family (and Liz, they were dating for awhile by now!) for two years. You all know our side of the family is complicated and messy. We put the fun in dysfunctional. It has been for many years, and Collin was my rock through it all. The one I could turn to, forget my troubles and have a laugh. When he left in 1998, I was 12 and inconsolable. I cried every day for weeks. ⠀
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Tarzan was the movie of the day and Phil Collins gave us “You’ll be in my heart.” I recorded it to a tape and listened to it over and over and over, crying into the carpet. I harassed him via letters if he had heard it (are we seeing a theme?) and when he went to the airport to fly to Taiwan I got a phone call at the house. ⠀
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“Hello?” ⠀

“...Come stop your crying, it will be alright...” 😂😭⠀
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His voice sings through the receiver. And we both cry. I cry because I want my brother back. He cries, I’m sure, because he’s scared, he is stepping into the unknown, and he knows what he has to do. ⠀
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His mission is bigger than than me. I know that now. It doesn’t make it better, I would happily keep him to ourselves and deny all the good he can do. I’m angry. But now his endless talents know no limits. He is unbound, he is all love. ⠀
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Let him work in you. Let his message change your life. Know that he (and I) believe in a loving God, and even in all our crazy, our family will be together again. I wish it were tomorrow. #lovelikecollin

⠀ People probably don’t realize, but Collin is

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People probably don’t realize, but Collin is an amazing musician (save some talents for the rest of us.) He composed piano music, sang in the church choir and led the primary music for years. Guitar, cello, ukulele, you name it. ⠀
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When I got married in 2005, Coldplay had just released “Fix You” and I was obsessed with it. I kept harassing him to learn it on the piano. And then at our wedding he surprised me and played and sang it for me. It has the register for a prepubescent altar boy, but he did it anyway. And I bawled.⠀
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Fast forward to 10.20.2020, Russ and I are at our 15 year anniversary dinner eating at this hip restaurant (HSL, go it’s so good) and it’s playing banger after banger, all new indie rock songs that I’d have to secretly Shazam under the table. And then all the sudden, Fix You comes on. And we look at each other and we just smile. What are the odds? How amazing! It made us so freaking happy. ⠀
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I didn’t know until later, but it was playing just as Collin left us. And to me, it’s clear as day. It’s not a wedding song. But it was a big bear hug 15 years in the making and it has brought me so much comfort. ⠀
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Lights will guide you home⠀
And ignite your bones ⠀
And I will try to fix you.⠀
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#lovelikecollin — I know I keep asking you guys for stuff but, please share your memories. I (and I’m sure the rest of the family) would love to read them all someday when we need his big bear hugs most.

If I just keep running, moving, arranging, feeding

If I just keep running, moving, arranging, feeding, maybe the truth of this won’t ever hit me. And then when I finally sit and close my eyes, everything behind my lids is horrifying. We have so many questions, but mostly just the one: WHY. We want answers, but it seems we can’t have them. Not yet anyway. In a world where everything is instant, we are learning to wait. To sit in it, to feel it all. ⠀
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In the waiting, I have seen and felt more goodness, more generosity, more support, love, and the true and lasting effect that Collin really had. It overflows and its ripple and radius has touched us all so deeply. ⠀
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I asked you to show up for him, for Liz and his kids, to let them hear us. And all your voices joined together and ROARED. I will never, ever forget it. I scrolled the donations with his kids and they laughed and cried and their jaws dropped. BLESS YOU ALL. Please pray for them, pray for Liz. If grief is the evidence of love, we now get a sense just how much they loved each other. And since there really is no right way to grieve, I might just have to share every last thing I love about my brother until my lungs give out. Thank you for waiting with us, for holding space, and for loving him like we do. xo, Emily #lovelikecollin

FIFTEEN YEARS!! We’ve been doing a lot of remini

FIFTEEN YEARS!! We’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing over here this year with this milestone afoot. One moment that keeps coming to mind from all the way back when we were engaged...

I had (what I thought was) a stroke. Searing headache, lost feeling in my face, down my arms, legs and stomach, with slurred speech. I know now and am very familiar with these aura migraines, but then I had no clue what was happening to me.

I crawled into bed, terrified and crying. Russ laid next to me, stroking my hair and sang me my favorite, most comforting gospel song.

“Abide with me ‘tis eventide, the night is coming on... Within my heart a welcome guest, within my home abide. O savior stay this night with me, behold tis eventide.”

Marriage, for us, hasn’t been some magic cure-all, that solves all pain or loneliness. But he has been the closest thing in my life to Christlike love. A witness to all the good, hard, and quiet. He has never tried to own or change or hurt. Just made himself the most welcome guest of my heart. That 19 year old girl didn’t know how good she had it, but she knows now. Happy anni, Russ Frame ♡

If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. ✨

If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. ✨

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